So you wanna free taste? OK, I think I’m authorized to give you a sneak peek inside, y regalarles algunas páginas para que puedan whet your Spanglish whistle. I’m going to serve you up a “porque because” sample platter from the beginning, the middle and the end of el booko. | 1 | 2 | 3 |
Chancla Survivor
Chancla n. /chahnk-lah/
(1) A cheap sandal that doubles as a
disciplinary device in Latino households. Example: “Spare the chancla,
spoil the child.” See also, chancletazo, fuete, tundata,
and pow pow.
Chancla comes from the Greek chanklakos, "weapon of
foot," from chankloka, "deadly shoe," from chankloskein,
"to punish disobedience, to teach a lesson to someone as thick-headed as a
heel.”
As a chancla survivor myself,
a veteran receiver of many swift nalgadas and
repeated target of more cocotazos than I can remember (probably
because of cocotazo-related memory loss), I can testify that Spanglish
and childhood go hand in hand. Yet for adults, words such as chancla evoke strangely fond memories. Mention it and fellow survivors laugh with recognition
and offer up their own stories of how fast their mother was with the fearsome
sandal.
It’s a touchstone palabra of a
common upbringing that completes its cycle only when a un padre se le
quebra la paciencia because their angelitos se están portando como little brats, thus triggering a full-on Spanglish scolding, para que les
hagan caso.
En todo caso, el parenting no es nada
fácil, pero el Spanglish puede servir como herramienta eficaz, as
the following ejemplos demonstrate muy claramente.
El wit’s end
“Se los estoy advirtiendo for the last time. No me hagan pasar un mal rato.
Because por mi madre se los juro, if I have to pull this car over,
everybody se va a llevar un cocotazo!”
Por Dios don’t just leave it there.
“Búscate la pala y cepillo and clean up este mess que hiciste! Que aquí tú no tienes
ningún maid.”
Pero no se lo diga a Child Protection
“Pues, mija, yo estoy aquí running after this monster of mine, el bipolar
baby. I have a lot of patience, pero el me agota mi supply. A veces he drives me so crazy, que me tomo unas
cervezas and just breast feed him. Te digo que it knocks him
right out.”
But I just changed you
“¡Ay fo! Hay que cambiarle los Pampers again.”
Not to mention Los Tres Magos
“Me cachó red-handed poniendo los regalos under the tree. Ahora he
knows que yo soy Santa Claus.”
Cuando estás muy estresada, count to ten
“Cójelo con take it easy one . . . cójelo con take it easy
two . . . cójelo con take it easy three . . . cójelo con take
it easy four . . . cójelo con take it easy five . . . cójelo con take it easy six . . . cójelo con take it easy seven . . . cójelo con take it easy eight . . . cójelo con take it easy nine . . . cójelo con take it easy ten . . .”
What los vecinos are saying about you
“Ay, es que ella no puede handle esos kids. Están muy wild y demasiado spoiled. She could use unas
clases de parenting.”
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